My lent has been non-existent. Instead of dying to the world with Christ to share in His resurrection, I've been dying to Life. This is definitely not the way I imagined the final steps of the journey into the Church. It has been a huge struggle. I know that lent is supposed to be a time of suffering and struggling. But my suffering isn't because I'm fasting from something. I wake up every day with more anger and hurt in my heart. I've turned my back to Him. It's like I'm walking backwards towards Him, if that makes sense.
Rachel, this was a while ago and I don't know how things are going now, I hope they are better. But I just wanted to say this. :) Regardless of what happened, or whatever you might have or not have done to cause it, (and sometimes it's not even anything we have done) - remember it is the will that counts. If you feel anger and hurt, but ignore this and in your will, strive to love God - despite everything - that is practicing virtue. Seek humility and repentance because that is what brings us closer to God. Don't pay any attention to your feelings, but stay calm and focus on your will. I'll be praying for you sister :) I remember I faced much spiritual attack and trials before and during my conversion. God bless.
ReplyDelete